My · Life

• Anniston: You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
• An ordinance in Linden, Ala., provided that all women of "uncertain chastity" had to be off the streets by 9 p.m.
• Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
• Dominoes may not be played on Sunday. 
• It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
• It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
• It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone's pity.
• It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
• It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
• Slavery is still legal in Decatur, Alabama.
• You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.
• A law in Fairbanks does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
• Even though it is legal to hunt a bear, it is illegal to wake a bear and take a picture for photo opportunities.
• Fairbanks: It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
• In Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting.
• It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
• Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time.
• Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
• State policy states that emergencies are held to a minimum and rarely found to exist. 
• A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
• Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony (This goes back in the days of the Wild West). 
• Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.
• Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
• Hunting camels is prohibited. 
• Prescott: No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.
• There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
• Tucson: Women may not wear pants.
• You may not have more than two dildos in a house. 
• A city ordinance states that a $500 fine will be given to anyone who detonates a nuclear device within city limits. 
• Arcadia: Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.
• Belvedere City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."
• Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water. 
• Hollywood: It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
• In 1838, the city of Los Angeles passed an ordinance requiring that a man obtain a license before serenading a woman.
• In Los Angeles courts it is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
• In Baldwin Park, California nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
• In California it is illegal to have caller ID
• In California it's against regulations to let phones ring more than nine times in state offices.
• In California you may not set a mouse trap without a hunting license.
• In California, selling a gold piece without tooth marks in it is considered forgery.
• In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
• It is illegal to eat an orange in your bath tub 
• No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. 
• You can be fined $500 if you bother a butterfly in Pacific Grove, Ca.
• A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces
• New Britain: It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.
• You may not educate dogs.
• In Delaware it is illegal to get married on a dare.
• In Delaware you may not sell dead people for money without a license.
• It is unlawful for small boys to throw stones, at any time, at any place in the District of Columbia. 
• If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. 
• In Florida it is illegal to fish while driving across a bridge.
• In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.
• In Saratoga, Florida it is illegal to sing while wearing a bathing suit.
• It is considered an offense to shower naked. 
• Pensacola: Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person; It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel; A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils. (I live in Pensacola)
• Tampa Bay: It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.
• Under a 1959 ordinance, stubborn children were considered vagrants in Jupiter Inlet Colony, Fla.
• When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
• Women can be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. The salon owner can also be fined for this horrible crime.
• You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
• You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
• You may not kiss your wife's breasts. 
• Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. 
• Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs. 
• In Quitman, It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
• It is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the shades are down.
• It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro.
• In Quitman, It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
• It is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the shades are down.
• It is illegal to take a bath of orange peel.
• It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
• Boise: Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back.
• If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car.
• You may not fish on a camel's back. 
• "Dwarf-tossing," the strange practice of hurling dwarfs in padded suits, is outlawed in the bars of Springfield, Ill., because it's dangerous and exploitative. The practice is apparently allowed elsewhere in town, with a special permit.
• A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
• According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American".
• Champaign: One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth. 
• Eureka: A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
• Evanston: Bowling is forbidden; It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween; It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
• In Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
• In Chicago it is also illegal to take a French poodle to the opera, and for women over 200 pounds (90 kilos) to ride horses in shorts.
• In Chicago, Illinois, it is illegal to fish in pajamas. 
• In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
• A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17. 
• Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
• Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
• Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.
• Citizens are not allowed to attend a cinema or theatre nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic. 
• It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
• It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
• It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.
• Liquor stores may not sell milk. 

In Kanas:

• It is illegal to hunt whales.
• No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.
• Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.

• By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground". 
• In Kentucky every citizen of is required to take a shower once a year.
• In Kentucky you need a license to walk around nude on your property.
• In Lexington, Kentucky, it's illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket.
• It is illegal in Kentucky to marry the same man more than 3 times.
• It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky. 
• You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.
• In Waterville, Maine, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.
• It's unlawful to tickle a woman's chin with a feather duster in Portland.
• Shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
• Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
• You may not step out of a plane in flight.
• A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
• Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
• Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
• All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
• An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
• At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches. 
• It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
• It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
• It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.
• It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost.
• It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
• It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine 
• It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits.
• It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.
• It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. 
• Newton: All families must be given a hog from the town's mayor.
• No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. 
• Quakers and witches are banned. 
• Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
• You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour.
• A Michigan law states that a wife's hair legally belongs to her husband.
• A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
• Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
• In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens. 
• In Detroit, Michigan it is illegal to sleep in a bathtub.
• In Rochester, Michigan, anyone bathing in public must have his or her bathing suit inspected by a police officer.
• It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
• It is illegal to loiter in the city morgue in Detroit. 
• A Blue Earth, Minnesota, law declares that no child under the age of twelve may talk over the telephone unless monitored by a parent.
• A Minnesota tax form is quite thorough. Some would say too thorough. It even asks for your date of death.
• A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
• All bathtubs must have feet.
• It is illegal to sleep naked.
• Virginia: You're not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street.
• You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
Kalamazoo: It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend. 
• It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
• It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. 

I'm getting bored and this is getting long so I'll stop now.

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